ON NEW YORK CITY SCHOOLS

When I was pregnant with Biet, and a bit more naive, and without the everlasting wisdom that one undoubtedly gains from rearing a nursling into a two-year-old, a friend of mine asked me where we planned to send our child to school.  I thought she was insane. Why on earth would I would be thinking about schools when I hadn't even had the baby yet!? I told her that once my baby was born, and then a whole five years had passed, she would probably go to public school.  This made perfect sense to me.  I had attended public school on the West Coast, and it was pretty great. So I dismissed the matter and pushed it out of my thoughts. And then I became a mother in NYC.

I should have picked up on it earlier, from the way that Biet interacts on the playground, the subway, and on playdates.  I should have realized that, unlike her Mama, my little girl is a people person.  She loves a challenge, learning new things, working within systems with rules (& breaking those rules when she's feeling ornery), making friends, playing games, and expressing herself. When we met up  with LaTonya & Emily and their sweet girls the other week, I watched as Biet held hands in a little toddler chain gang, and I began to really see that she could flourish in the right preschool program.  Then she began asking for "Rivahhh" and "Baby leeee" (River & Lilly) every day (along with a list of all of her toddler friends- the girl just wants to hang!), and reenacting the games they had played together. I began a proper search for a preschool that night.  What I found shocked me.

Many, many people in NYC begin applying for schools when they find out they are pregnant- the waiting lists for the good ones take years.  There are a couple nice progressive schools that your child can test into if they are bright, but the competition is brutal, and 1-year-olds beginning piano lessons in order to "keep up" and stand a chance is not my style.  There is even one preschool in the Upper West Side that requires genetic testing in order to be accepted- your child must possess all of the markers of success and intelligence to get in (creepy? morally wrong? illegal, perhaps? I think so).  (thanks to the reader who told me about this article from April 1st being an April Fool's Joke, and shame on you, NPR!). Then there's the issue of cost. We simply can't afford preschools that cost as much as college (and even if we could, I'm not sure I even agree it with that), so that rules out all of the "best" ones. Even the 2x2 program at the Y costs as much as a used car.  Its kind of crazy. I had to find something- I had to dig deeper.

Apparently, there are a number of underground co-op school in Brooklyn, where parents get together and hire a teacher and all pitch in to pay him or her, hosting the school from their homes.  Then there are "playschool's", where the parents take turns teaching, also from their homes, with self-developed curriculums or themes each day.  There are independent daycares, but I'm too skeptical of the quality of education offered at most of them.  There are private Montessori schools, but they are certainly not affordable (at least not the ones I've seen).  A few public schools have daycare and pre-k options, but not in the district we're zoned for.  A couple of stand-up magnet schools have the same, but you must enter a lottery against tens of thousands of other children for a spot- the odds are not good, and they don't even accept kids as young as Biet.  So what's a Mama to do?

All I'm looking for is a creative, safe environment where she can interact with other kids, learn some games and songs, and make a little art a couple of times a week.  Some organic food and lessons about the environment would be cool too. It has to exist, doesn't it? I know I'm not the only one who wants this for my child.

I'm throwing this one out to universe and asking you, dear readers, for your help here.  Tell me your experiences with NYC schools- the good and the bad and the ugly and the beautiful.  Do you have any suggestions of where I should look? Are there groups or clubs or forums out there? Do you have a playschool?  Should I start one? Is the Montessori method of teaching the best? Reggio Emilia?  Certain school zones where I'll have better luck?  I am so grateful for your insight and help with this!

JUST A PERFECT DAY / CENTRAL PARK

After the MOMA, on we went.. over to 6th Avenue and northbound, past the ballooning crowds of tourists and the sizzling falafel stands on the corners with their clouds of oddly appetizing shawarma smoke, past the old cigar shop where fancily suited men hold court in the street-side windows and stare out at you creepily with cigars in their mouths and newspapers in their hands, past the overworked sign-holders standing in the sun on the side streets, beckoning you to rent a bike for the day (if they rented kids' seats for said bikes I would be all over that), past the white-gloved doormen of 59th Street and the decorated horses and carriages of Central Drive, and on to that great manmade kingdom of kingdoms in the city, Central Park.

Onward we went, through the manicured pathways and wild brush, through the trees heavy with green and the arching footbridges and the brightly colored fauna.  A little further in and a little further in, until the wilderness surrounded us on all sides and the city felt far away.  Then all was calm.

Deep within Central Park lies another world; a world where the woes and the stress of city life cease to exist, where one can sit alone and remember, or forget, or listen to the music of nature, or listen to silence.  You enter the park for a pretty afternoon stroll and you wander along, and one moment you're watching taxis and Clydesdales clamor for road space, and the next, you're away. Far away. You see the building rising above the trees in the distance, but the sounds and smells of the city are nowhere to be found.  It is there that lies this other world, the magical respite where one can find peace.

Just as the exhaustion began to creep in to our bones from our lengthy adventures through the museum, the park, and the carousel, we came to this place.  We spotted a cool stone island in the grass and made it our own personal bench.  Away from the city and the commotion of the everyday, we rested.  We ate.  We laughed.  Lucien nursed while Biet put on a show for passerby's.  Stealthily stealing the hat off my head and dancing around with a smirk, she brought many a smile to our faces.  Then the wind began to blow as the afternoon sun sank lower, so I zipped up my dress and buckled up the babies, and with hats our heads and dirt on our feet, we made our way home, thinking all the while, what a perfect day.

IMAGINE...

Dear Biet,

This week, you journeyed to strawberry fields in Central Park for the very first time. You sat in the middle of the Imagine mosaic and smiled as people flocked all around to snap your photo. Yes, you are quite a popular girl up there on the Upper West Side. Your Papa and I visited this same place when you were in my belly, on John Lennon's birthday. We brought Nico with us, sang songs all night with the other people, and walked and walked through the park afterwards, letting Nico run free. Your Papa and I just might be dorks like that.  In time, you will learn all of those songs (and Papa will probably teach you to play them too on the guitar or the piano or the accordian, or maybe all three).  Perhaps when your little sibling arrives, you will tell stories about how we all three four went to Strawberries Fields when the baby was still in my belly.  And Papa will tell you stories about being a young boy in Israel and teaching himself to speak english by memorizing the songs of the Beatles, back when New York City was still only a dream.  He will tell you how those songs awakened his love of music, and how they taught him a new language and gave him the courage to follow his dream around the world.  You see, this little spot in Central Park means quite a lot to your Papa.

So like your Papa, never stop imagining, & never stop dreaming, my baby girl.

Mama

*Biet's knee pads (great for learning to fall walk in the city) c/o KNEEBEES

A Late Afternoon Stroll...

..through Central Park! For Biet's first NYC park experience, we (Gaby, Aunt Adi, & myself) figured it HAD to be Central Park. A short ride on the F-train and we were laying in the grass watching the sun set. I am sure that before we know it, Biet will know every park in the city like the back of her tiny hand, like a true born-and-raised New Yorker.
**gushing with both parental and New Yorker/East Coast pride**