AN UPDATE

I want to say THANK YOU to everyone who wrote to me, in comments and emails, when I wrote about Biet's devastating fall the other day. It baffles me that so many lovely women took the time out of their day to write to me and share their personal experiences from raising their own children. This whole Mothering thing is beautiful & natural & empowering & really truly an honor- and also, at times, absolutely terrifying. It was so wonderful to read about other Mamas who have been there, and to know that their little ones continued to breathe and grow and thrive just fine. Thank you.

To update everyone on baby girl: she has completely healed, both in body and spirit. She was a bit out of sorts for a couple of days following the fall, eating and sleeping at irregular hours, and struggling to get comfortable in her sore body. It seemed that the only place she could truly relax was in her Mama's arms, so that's where she remained 90% of the time. It also took about three days for the last trace of blood to disappear from her little nose and for her to breath completely normally. But, alas, her little body mended itself, and her sleeping schedule regulated, and her smiles returned, and she seems to be doing just fine. She has actually developed in leaps and bounds since the fall {forming real words! clapping her hands!}, so much so that Gaby and I have been joking that the bump on the head might have done some good. :)

With eating, though, its almost as if Biet regressed back being a new infant again: all of her progress with solids went out the window, and she's back to getting most of her nutrition from breast milk. Nursing is just such a comfort for her. Although I'm not thrilled about waking up every couple hours all night to nurse her, I know that this is what I am here for: to Mother her as she needs and to provide her with all I can give. I try remind myself to be proud of the strong nursing relationship that we have built (even after her milk-free week), and to be grateful that I am able to nurse her. Every time I am abruptly awakened from sleep and have to groggily pull myself out of bed, I think about the fact that one day she will be grown- a little girl who doesn't want to nurse anymore. And I know that when that day comes, I will look back on this time fondly, as the precious and short period that it is, when all that my baby girl needed was right here within me.

She is sleeping in her crib once again (hurray!) so we don't have to worry about any more accidents. However, I suddenly realized that she has almost outgrown her mini crib! We are trying to decide what the next step should be: a regular sized crib, a toddler bed, a floor bed??  I would be so grateful to hear from any of you Mamas out there with experience in this matter..

..and on another note, if anyone has seen those little leather heart shoes in an adult size, please let me know.. every time I dress her I imagine how amazing (& comfortable) a big version of those little beauties would be..

A Milk-Free Week, oh my!

Biet got to spend the entire weekend at her Mama's side (or rather, on her Mama's hip) this week. Since my work week is usually friday-tuesday, this was quite a nice change of pace for both of us. We had breakfast (+lunch +snacks +dinner) together every day at the table, threw spontaneous living room dance parties in our socks and undies after bath time, and walked for hours around Brooklyn in the lovely tepid winter sunshine. One thing we didn't do, however, was nurse.

It hurt my heart a little bit each time Biet's gaze lowered to my shirt and her tiny hands reached out, determined to figure out how to open the zipper of my hoodie (a zipped up hoodie was worn throughout the whole weekend as part of my nursing-layup uniform), but it was necessary. For my long weekend at home was not a President's Day treat, but due to an excrutiating and unexpected infection; an infection which required a myriad of antibiotics and painkillers- drugs which, we decided, we'd rather not pass into our baby's pure little body.

It was not an easy decision to make- abruptly (and temporarily) weaning Biet. We have been blessed with a near-perfect breastfeeding relationship since day one, and the thought of doing anything other than child-led weaning (most likely not for at least another year or two) had never entered my mind. I do have a heaviness in my heart about putting Biet through this, but the risks of passing harsh and untested drugs on to our developing infant changed our plans a bit, and so here we are: whipping up "solid" meals though out the day for our hungry little daughter, bottle-feeding at nap time & bedtime, and keeping her occupied during the day with games and excursions and Nico-time. And the fully zipped hoodie (layered over an impenetrable shirt).

Luckily, Biet is a champion when it comes to eating. You name it, we blend it, she eats it. Fruits, veggies, grains (we make our own baby cereal from raw oats and turn brown rice into flour to add to beans for her), nuts and seeds (no allergies issues whatsoever so far), leafy greens, goat milk (the closest in nature to human milk), legumes, soups, whole-grain pastas, gnocchi (her newest favorite).. she is fast developing an experienced palate. I love seeing her face light up with surprise and enjoyment when she tastes that first spoonful of something new. So far, the only food that received a disapproving sour face was, surprisingly, sweet potatoes. Funny girl.

I'm looking forward to next week when I am healed and Biet and I can happily resume nursing. I still fully intend to accomplish long-term breastfeeding, for both of us.  Until then, though, I'll just keep busily pumping away to keep my supply up, creating amazing baby cuisine in the kitchen, and loving on Biet with all the milk-free snuggling that I got.

 *Our highchair is the Tripp Trapp by Stokke, a gift from Gaby's cousin. We really love it & I would highly recommend it!