The Blue Pacifier

Our daughter does not use a pacifier. She stubbornly refuses to allow anything synthetic in her mouth, despite our countless attempts at offering the tried-and-true infant soothers. We bought every model and make of pacifier out there- silicone, natural rubber, latex, orthodontic, flat, curved, wide, mini- hoping with each purchase that "this will be the one!" The one that our gloriously picky teeny tiny daughter will not spit out of her teeny tiny mouth in anger, the one that will calm her when she's flustered and bring her comfort when she wants to sleep, the one that will pass the Biet test. Instead, we have an overflowing bowl of pacifiers adorning our kitchen table and a sometimes-inconsolable baby girl.

And then it I found it. I was going through a box of maternity things, organizing & packing & thinking about the day I might wear maternity again (if we are blessed with a brother or sister for Biet some day) when two blue specks in the bottom of the box caught my eye. I reached in and pulled out two old pacifiers. My sister Emmy had sent them to me along with a care package while I was pregnant. I remembered her telling me that they had belonged to her son, Beckett, when he was small. I had forgotten all about them until now. I was about to throw them in the bowl with the rest of the rejects when I decided it couldn't hurt to try them out first. Biet screamed and spit out the dark blue one immediately. No surprise there. But then something miraculous happened.

As soon as the light blue one touched her lips, he eyes widened, her mouth opened, and she sucked it in like a little vacuum. I stared in silence and disbelief. We had been trying for 3 months to give her this satisfaction. I gently took it back and examined it, desperate to finally know the type that she likes. The brand was worn off, but a phone call to Emmy revealed that this was the pacifier Beckett was given AT THE HOSPITAL! The only pacifier that this home-birthed child likes is the one that would have been impossible to get (had Emmy not saved the day)! Nevertheless, I found the brand and specific size (XXSmall), found a retailer, went and bought more, and guess what? Biet, once again, spit them all out in anger. They are identical to the hand-me-down, yet Biet ONLY likes this one. This ONE.
This single one in the whole wide world.

Who knows why she loves it. Maybe because it is worn in and old (she likes vintage things like her Mama), maybe because it was so hard to get and one-of-a-kind (she's a picky stubborn little Taurus, also like her Mama), maybe because it belonged to her cousin whom she longs to meet. Or maybe this teeny tiny New Yorker was just waiting for a pacifier that was the exact same blue as Tiffany's.. We now look after this irreplaceable gem as if it was from Tiffany's.